Giving birth and giving birth away

What does it mean to give birth? For some women the thought of childbirth is scary at best. It involves a hospital stay, IVs, drugs injected through a catheter placed in the spinal cord, and possible major abdominal surgery. It’s a big medical process with monitors and internal examinations by strangers who are professionals so they are blindly and routinely trusted. Often times it involves unnecessary interventions such as rupturing membranes (breaking of waters), Pitocin (a drug that magnifies contractions far beyond the tolerable pain of a naturally occurring contraction), episiotomies (cutting a woman’s vaginal opening even though it is designed to stretch), vacuum extractions (literally sucking a baby out by it’s head with a suctioning mechanism that can cause brain injury, bleeding and death) and forcep extractions (using special medical tongs to grab a baby’s head and forcefully pull the baby out). In many cases a woman’s body is forced into labor unnaturally when it is something that would have occurred all on it’s own. Birth is one big medical procedure. And this is normal birth in America. This is how women plan their births with their doctors. Electively drugging themselves and their babies through a pain that we were designed to tolerate, a pain with a purpose that guides us through the process. Yet we choose to be numb to it all, all because of fear. This is not giving birth, this is giving birth away.

Childbirth is one of the most empowering events in a woman’s life. It is an opportunity to trust in the nature of how we were designed and what we were created for. It is a time to revel in our beauty, our flawless construction for creating life. It is a time to celebrate, not to numb our bodies and our minds out of fear. Giving birth is a very special event that each woman should remember always as a pivotal moment in life. It should never be reflected on in regret. Yet so many women are experiencing mourning after their childbirth experience because they gave birth away. Birth is ours to hold dear, and even though we may not realize it at the time it is also ours to give away. So many women do not know that they are giving birth away and how it will effect them until it is too late. I want to encourage every woman out there reading this to consider what I have said. Birth is not an emergency or a medical procedure. I do understand that for some it must be this way but for the vast majority it is not. Women have been birthing babies for eons while being present mentally and physically. It’s something you can do! Is drug free childbirth hard work? Yes. Is it painless? No. Is it going to kill you? Absolutely not!

Many women lack the support and education for drug free childbirth. They hear horror stories and stories from drugged childbirth making it seem like a ray of sunshine. I am hear to tell you that the pain of childbirth ends, it does not last forever. It is a pain with a purpose, your body’s way of speaking to you about a very special event taking place that needs your presence. Do not run from the one thing that will bring forth life. Pain in childbirth is beautiful and miraculous, it isn’t horrific or intolerable. Give your body a chance to speak to you in a way that will forever change your life. Give your baby a drug free start in life. You can do it, and there are many people who can and want to help you do this.

For more more information on drug free childbirths and support for the process visit Natural Birth and Dona International.

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About Mamamojo

My name is T. I am a homeschooling, home/water birthing, dreadlocked, special needs mama to four beautiful daughters. I'm married to my best friend. I am a natural childbirth and breastfeeding advocate. I have done some volunteer work as a peer counselor with WIC and as a doula with Birthwell Partners and plan to be a midwifery assistant one day. My blog was created to put some alternative information out there about breastfeeding, childbirth & other issues regarding motherhood and life in general. I hope that you enjoy reading here and visit me often. Thanks for reading!
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10 Responses to Giving birth and giving birth away

  1. windy says:

    So very true!
    I had my son at home and it was the most amazing experience of my life
    So much more intimate and empowering than the hospital birth experience I had with my daughter

  2. Rebecca says:

    Beautifully written!!!!! I gave into the fear with DD because 1) I never experienced giving birth before and I was scared and 2) because I did not know that there are wonderful people out there willing to help me through labor. If I ever get the chance again to bring another life into this world I will do it differently. I want to have my next baby at home. I will find a mid wife and prepare myself for labor so I wont be scared the next time. Thanks to you I am seeing what a beautiful experience child birth can be and it is not be something to feared. I have faith that if there is a next time, my body will do what it was designed to do.

  3. Helen says:

    I am glad you wrote this. There really are not enough people speaking for natural bith and so many talking against it. I did what I *thought* was right for my first birth and it was not. I let the doc give me an epi. I still have weird spine problems. I could not labor in different position and my poor child was vacuumed out.She had bubbles under her scalp for months. It was horrible for all of us. I do not want to go thru that ever again. Also, I did not want an episiotomy and did not know until after that I was given one. I wish I had known as many helpful moms before I had her. So, we learn from our mistakes and PTL for taking care of us. I try to caution people I meet when they tell me the day they will (schedule) delivery for convience. I know I do not want another epi for sure.

  4. Cynthia says:

    I loved my birth experience but I am more open to trying other things now. IF I ever have another babe, things will be different. I am like Helen. I just didn’t know there was more out there.

  5. Sarah says:

    This is a great article you’ve written. I am so glad that I had more natural options (and the best midwife ever) for the birth of my two youngest. I think so many women would choose homebirth or birth center birth if they knew it was an option. I’m so glad you are spreading the word!
    Sarah

  6. Jodie says:

    You know I adore you mama. You are so right… I think we live in a disgusting society where labouring women are taken to hospitals, a sight of trauma, the ill and death, to bring life into this world. It is disgusting.

    Unfortunately, the province I lived in for my first pregnancy did not have a single midwife and home deliveries were “illegal”. For my second child, I was in a different province and midwives were not covered by the government and were over a 1.5 hour drive from where I live (cost was $3000). They are now publicly funded, but in such a huge demand that there are not enough midwives to service the province.

    My first experience was awful. The second time I hired a doula and it was the most empowering thing I could have done. It was wonderful to have that voice to softly remind you that most of what the doctor is saying is simply a suggestion and not a demand.

    Sadly, I had to witness my sister go through the exact same complications as me in her first…

    Ohhhhhh I could go on and on about how corrupt the entire birthing process is in many of our countries. It is so disheartening.

    _________

    Just to add a bit more.

    I truly believe that most nurses (and I may get blasted for this) just want an easier time during their shift so they push what makes their job easier… Give them drugs. Numb the pain… It’s much easier for US!!! What they miss is that women are supposed to feel the pain so they can listen to their body and know what to do.

    I was heavily medicated for my first birth… Pushed strongly by the nurses because I was experience back labour. Demerol Demerol. It’s ok if you throw up, that’s normal. NORMAL???? Can you feel your contractions? No IDIOT you gave me an epidural… I cant feel anything.

    My second labour, I felt all the pain and I do not remember that pain, the same as the pain when my demerol would wear off in my first labour.

    In all honesty, I feel I grieved my first labour until I lived my second. That may sound backward… but I really had a huge disconnect with my first child… I love to relive my second labour story… I feel so empowered that I delivered my perfect little being the way he was supposed to come into this world. I was in control and could tell the doctor that I was not pushing until I felt the urge to push. I sat there with my son’s head out of me for about 30 seconds until I had the urge… And guess what, I never needed a stitch. My body was doing what it was made to do!!!

    I’m so passionate about this and will answer any questions or help any lady that has any concerns about doing it this way.

    Great post!

  7. Emily says:

    Great article! Both my boys were born naturally without drugs. My second I did allow the midwife to break my water as my labor was going a bit slow and I just really wanted him out (I’d had prodromal labor for the previous 2.5 weeks!!). She broke my water ~7:30, and he was born at 10:50, not even 3.5 hours later. Both times I labored in water and that totally got me dilated. But as I tell lots of folks I did it natural cause’ I couldn’/can’t imagine being in labor and NOT being allowed to move around. That would just KILL me!!

  8. beep says:

    I am one of those mamas that has to have a medicalized birth because of a longstanding health condition, and for whose body labor and delivery will truly be a potentially life-threatening emergency unless I have medical interventions. I have not yet given birth–I am pregnant now. I wish I could plan for a natural birth. Yet as I plan and anticipate, I am working to not “give away” my birth experience and to find ways to be fully present, respect and appreciate my body despite its limitations, and own this birth experience.

    I appreciate that you acknowledged that for some small number of mamas like me, medical birth is just how it has to be. For me, though, it is really important to make some psychic space in the world of natural vs. medical for an empowered, body-connected birth with medical assistance–while still supporting most women to choose a natural birth.

  9. Christi says:

    BRAVO and AMEN!!

  10. Pingback: Pregnancy & Childbirth Are Normal « B O H O M A M A M O J O

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