What’s Wrong with `Growing Kids God’s Way’? (AKA Ezzo)

A popular but controversial Christian parenting program might have plunged a million kids into dangerous waters as they enter adolescence
by Ken McDuffTrevor poked his triumphant, beaming face into my office. “It works!” he exclaimed.

Trevor’s one-month-old boy was sleeping through the night, and he wanted me to know that the the techniques taught by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo in their popular-but-controversial parenting program, Growing Kids God’s Way (GKGW), had been successful.

But successful at what? Too often we judge a parenting style by its immediate results. What can we expect, though, when “Ezzo-babies” – as they’re sometimes called – grow up?

GKGW and its related curriculum, Preparation for Parenting, have been taught in nearly 4,000 churches over the past 10 years. The Ezzos’ organization, Growing Families International, has provided resources to 400,000 families, representing more than a million children. As the first wave of children grown “God’s way” approach adolescence, it’s a good time to evaluate the fruits of the GKGW parenting style.

GKGW methods, practiced consistently, do seem to produce “good” kids – they obey their parents, they’re generally polite and respectful, and they’re well-behaved (particularly in their parents’ presence). But, as with any parenting style, there are dangers in applying GKGW’s tenants without generous portions of common sense and parental affection.

Consider three potential dangers.

Danger 1: Parents motivated by self-interest.
The GKGW philosophy is parent-centered. The Ezzos warn that too much parental attention and sacrifice makes for a child who’s self-centered and ill-prepared for real life. They encourage parents to resist placing their kids at the center of family life. The child must be taught quickly that the world does not revolve around him; otherwise, they say, the child “will develop a self-centered perception that will carry into every relationship.”
In practice, a parent-centered philosophy translates too easily into parenting goals conceived out of selfishness. Though parents (including me) don’t like to admit it, we often have hidden motives behind our parenting tactics. We want to look good to our friends; we want to be unbothered by our child’s activity. So, we require our children to behave in certain ways – not for their benefit, but for ours.

But God’s parenting pattern is sacrificial. Author Kevin Huggins – a 20 year veteran youth leader, now a professor of Christian counseling at Philadelphia College of the Bible – reminds us in Parenting Adolescents, “Christ’s death was his profound expression of self-denial and self-sacrifice, the same elements a parent must express if he is to be relationally mature (highly involved with and responsive toward his kids)”. When parents fail to consistently respond to a child’s needs so that their lifestyle can be preserved, the second danger can result.

Danger 2: Kids who never learn to trust.
When my wife gave birth to our first child, our primary goal was to create in our daughter a sense of trust and security – a feeling that she didn’t face life alone. We responded to her cries quickly and consistently, with as much wisdom as first-time parents could muster. For a season, we altered our lifestyle to accommodate her needs. We were always nearby – and we didn’t fret about spoiling her or being manipulated.
According to the Ezzos, that’s not God’s way. Children need to learn to cope with life’s difficulties, they assert, away from their parents. By practicing what the Ezzos call “attachment parenting,” my wife and I were “fostering an emotional disability we [Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam, co-authors of On Becoming Babywise] call me-ism.”

But others disagree. “To an infant,” responds Kevin Huggins, “every desire seems crucial… When these desires are not immediately fulfilled by the infant’s primary caretakers, he experiences his first relational disappointment. This disappointment arouses within him a tendency to mistrust the abilities and intentions of his parents to give him what is vital for his existence… He develops his first real problem in thinking: ‘If I’m going to feel safe and secure, I must do something to get my world to respond to me.’ ”

As a GKGW child grows, how can she gain the approval that she desires? That leads us to the third danger.

Danger 3: Kids who win approval by their good behavior.
GKGW promotes high parental control. Parents are encouraged to be “governors” in their children’s lives until the children develop the self-control and moral awareness that allows self-government. Certain behaviors are expected, and GKGW parents are quick to force conformity when necessary. The Ezzos contend that the Holy Spirit will eventually take over, building on those established patterns of compliant behavior. They call it “spiritual inertia.”
Critics see little difference between what the Ezzos advocate and behaviorism – the use of negative reinforcement (spanking, hand-slapping, “time outs,” and so on) to bring about desired behaviors. Of course, what parent doesn’t use some form of behavioristic technique? Why not? It “works.” Research studies reveal that firm and consistent parental control is associated with positive outcomes, especially when mixed with generous amounts of parental warmth.

But when parents withhold warmth and involvement, they can still get their kids to comply. Because the Ezzos’ materials habitually prefer the word “parenting” to “love,” they leave the door open for parents to use strategies mechanically. Now what happens when these compliant but emotionally unengaged kids move into adolescence? Teenagers experience sudden and drastic changes, not only in physical appearance but also in how they perceive and relate to their world. They question what they must do to be loved and to have impact on their world. If their compliance flows from a desire to win others’ approval and acceptance rather than faithfulness to Christ, the demands and struggles of adolescence can lead a young person into new, unexpected behaviors. These behaviors may take on the form of greater, even compulsive efforts to obey. But if a young person starts to believe his actions can never be good enough, he may turn to rebellious acts and defiance to signal his internal struggle.

What can you do to help a teenager whose outward compliance may not reflect a heart that’s inclined toward God?

Watch for “signal behaviors” that indicate internal frustrations. If a teenager’s strategy for winning love, security, and impact by being compliantly good fails, she may resort to “signal behaviors” such a compulsiveness, rule-breaking, defiant acts, or disregarding a parent’s instructions. Think of it as an S.O.S. It’s a time when a young person needs a friend to help her explore what’s going on deep within. If she doesn’t get help, destructive behaviors may follow.
Help parents reflect on their parenting styles and goals. Parents are the primary influencers of their children, even in adolescence. Too often, though, they fail to understand the struggles their children face. You can help parents reflect on the effects of their parenting style and provide insight on what their teenagers are doing, thinking, and feeling – and why. An excellent resource is Parenting Adolescents by Kevin Huggins (NavPress, 1989), also available as a small-group video series.
Help teenagers understand that only Christ can meet their need for relational fulfillment. Proverbs 19:22 reveals that “what a man desires is unfailing love.” Teenagers’ self-sufficient strategies and behaviors are foolish attempts to gain dependable, unconditional love – a love that’ll never be fully met in any human relationship, only in God’s lovingkindness. When a compliant young person wonders why his compliance doesn’t bring the relationship he desires, point him to the One who’ll love him regardless of his failed efforts at goodness.
When kids start to see that they can’t satisfy their deepest desires for love and acceptance by molding themselves to what others demand – that’s when they’re most open to Christ’s love. Help them to talk about their heart’s desires, then to find fulfillment in relationship with the living God.

By the way, my daughter, Karisa, is 15 now. She loves God and cares deeply about others, especially the underdogs of the world. Her heart is reflected in her life’s goal: to be a missionary. A dad couldn’t be more pleased with his daughter. Don’t get me wrong – Karisa’s not perfect, but neither are her parents. But God has established broad boundaries for successful parenting.

“Scripture has very few specific mandates… It provides spiritual goals of parenting, but not exact or specific how-to’s.” These words of Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo, found in the first chapter of Preparation for Parenting, should remind us that those responsible for the spiritual nurture of our youth – parents and youth workers alike – must continually evaluate and refine their methods, depending more on God’s grace than their own expertise and ingenuity. That’s God’s way.

Ken McDuff is an associate pastor of family ministries in California. He’s wrestled with the fruits of the GKGW program for seven years in his church, where the program has caused serious divisions among parents.

Group Magazine, July/August 1997, Volume 23, Number 5, pp. 39-42.

Reprinted by permission from Group Magazine, © 1997, Group Publishing, Inc., Box 481, Loveland, CO 80538.

NIP Challenge

Okay Mamas…Here’s my challenge to you!

For all who are reluctant to NIP even though it’s your God given right and even if you don’t believe in God, it ain’t against the law so get hip with it. You are paving the road for our daughters to NIP as well! I challenge you to make a list of 5 places you are hesitant/reluctant/afraid to nurse in public.

Next, I want you to go there and DO IT!! And post to us all about how friggin’ liberating it was! Be sure to send this link to your mama friends!

http://mamamojo.wordpress.com/2007/08/26/nip-challenge/

Dr. Seuss for Nursing Moms

Would you nurse her in the park?
Would you nurse him in the dark?
Would you nurse him with a Boppy?
And when your boobs are feeling floppy?

I would nurse him in the park,
I would nurse her in the dark.
I’d nurse with or without a Boppy.
Floppy boobs will never stop me.

Can you nurse with your seat belt on?
Can you nurse from dusk till dawn?
Though she may pinch me, bite me, pull,
I will nurse her `till she’s full!

Can you nurse and make some soup?
Can you nurse and feed the group?
It makes her healthy strong and smart,
Mommy’s milk is the best start!

Would you nurse him at the game?
Would you nurse her in the rain?
In front of those who dare complain?
I would nurse him at the game.
I would nurse her in the rain.

As for those who protest lactation,
I have the perfect explanation.
Mommy’s milk is tailor made
It’s the perfect food, you need no aid.

Some may scoff and some may wriggle,
Avert their eyes or even giggle.
To those who can be cruel and rude,
Remind them breast’s the perfect food!

I would never scoff or giggle,
Roll my eyes or even wiggle!
I would not be so crass or crude,
I KNOW that this milk’s the perfect food!

We make the amount we need
The perfect temp for every feed.
There’s no compare to milk from breast-
The perfect food, above the rest.

Those sweet nursing smiles are oh so sweet,
Mommy’s milk is such a treat.
Human milk just can’t be beat.

I will nurse, in any case,
On the street or in your face.
I will not let my baby cry,
I’ll meet her needs, I’ll always try.
It’s not about what’s good for you,
It’s best for babies, through and through.

I will nurse her in my home,
I will nurse her when I roam.
Leave me be lads and ma’am.
I will nurse her, Mom I am.
__________________

Tara…tandem nursin’, co-sleepin’, babywearin’, non-vaxin’, homebirthin’, cloth diaperin’, earth conscious, full-time student, wife to Kristopher &
Mama to my still nursin’ fire cracker Trinity Jade &
my home birthed water baby Journey MaeAnn

Seventh Generation Natural Glass & Surface Cleaner

A lot of people ask me why on Earth I spend more money to buy natural and non-toxic cleaners. What’s the big deal? There are a few different reasons why I do what I do. The decision came to me when I had my first child. I didn’t feel right having anything in my home that said,”Contact Poison Control Center if…” It just wasn’t worth the risk for me when I knew that there were safer alternatives.

Today my 2yr old insisted on helping me clean our sliding glass doors. I had no problem letting her spray, wipe and touch our glass and surface cleaner. There was no concern on my part at all. Anyone with a small child can tell you how difficult house cleaning can be with someone right under your feet. When I sprayed the glass door and watched the excess spray float in her direction I never batted an eye. What a relief. I have too many more important things to think about than whether or not my glass cleaner is going to make my daughter break out in hives or cause her temporary blindness.

I personally recommend Seventh Generation Natural Glass & Surface Cleaner to anyone looking to make the switch to a healthier alternative. It works great! Even on glass and surfaces that has been exposed to smoke and/or dust for an extended period of time.

As time has progressed, I have created quite a collection of natural cleaners and come to realize that not only are they safer for ourselves and our families, but they are safer for our Earth as well. If every household in the U.S. replaced just one bottle of 32oz solvent-based glass and surface cleaner with solvent-free Seventh Generation Natural Glass & Surface Cleaner, we could prevent 11 million pounds of Volatile Organic Chemicals (VOCs) from being released into the environment.

For a list of Volatile Organic Chemical Contaminants visit http://www.dep.state.fl.us/water/drinkingwater/vol_con.htm

If you are concerned about the increase in cost for making the switch, consider starting a local co-op with quality products for natural living (at wholesale pricing) at http://recipes.frontiercoop.com/

Who’s really making the controversy here?

“Making milk public controversy”
By: Charles Winokoor, business writer
04/27/2007
So there I was grocery shopping the other day when, just as I reached for a quart of skim milk, I noticed the strangest thing.Women – mothers, to be exact – began dropping to the floor and breast-feeding their babies. Hurrying out of the dairy section, I found myself surrounded by pet supplies, but again was confronted with a surrealistic sight: Unsupervised canines and tabbies relieving themselves willy nilly, and then sauntering off to leave the mess for the night crew to clean up. Get out now, I told myself, as the sweat trickled down my brow. And wouldn’t you know it, just as I scurried past the Health & Beauty aisle I spied a group of men, shirts off, nonchalantly spraying and rolling their underarms with the deodorizer of their choice. Decorum precludes me from detailing what I witnessed in the place where they sell the Charmin. Knocking over a shopping cart with a child’s seat, I ran into the parking lot and headed for my car to make a getaway. As I fumbled for my key, I realized it was too late; I was surrounded.
………
………
Waking up in bed, I took stock of my nightmare. What in the world had
inspired my subconscious to unleash such nocturnal torment?
Then it came to me. It was nothing more mysterious than this week’s story
about a Hingham mom who managed to cause a stir by breast-feeding her infant
in the middle of a store.
Last Friday, Brockton cardiologist Dr. Melissa Tracy, while shopping in the South Hingham iParty store, dropped to the floor and began breast-feeding her ostensibly starving 2-month-old child. “Rather than let him become hysterical, I sat down on the floor and breast-fed him,” Tracy told the Boston Herald. What happened next, she said, caused her to feel humiliated. The store manager, a regular Darth Vader it seems, had the gall to admonish her. “He stood over me and said ‘You can’t do that here,’ ” she was quoted. “I’ve never felt that badly before.” Feeling emotionally scarred, Tracy did the honorable and proper thing: She ratted out the iParty blue meanie to his corporate superiors – who issued a knee-jerk, please-don’t-hit-me mea culpa, faster than CBS Radio and MSNBC gave Don Imus the bum’s rush. What she’s failed to mention, either in print or on TV, is why she was so compelled to plop to the floor instead of walking to the ladies room. Would she have jeopardized her child’s welfare, his very life, if she had simply made the effort? Or was she more interested in making a point about who she is and what she thinks she represents? During a TV interview, her husband said in his native Germany breast-feeding in public is an accepted practice and one that is

“not vulgar.” Not vulgar for sure – but how about annoying? Not the act of breast-feeding, mind you, but the behavior of well-educated parents who want to impose their version of an enlightened society upon the rest of us, without regard to our
sensibilities. That sort of selfish, guerilla mentality is not just inconsiderate to those
of us backward Americans who are not used to seeing babies suckling while we’re shopping for party supplies or dog food, it’s also unfair to the companies whose employees are only trying to do the right thing. Now, if any business – be it retail chain, a local independent store or a car dealership – announces a policy explicitly allowing open breast-feeding then that’s their prerogative. But one also has to ponder how this type of
adult-baby behavior will eventually affect the child. No wonder there’s a legion of kids nowadays who have grown up thinking they’re extra-special, entitled and oh-so-superior; after all, it’s been imbedded into their id since they were fed mother’s milk. This whole silly episode reminds me, in a way, of the case of the “flying imams,” six religious Muslims who were removed from a flight last November after they insisted on standing up in the plane for evening prayers. They knew exactly what they were doing. They wanted publicity and they got it, in spades. That’s not to say the good doctor from Brockton intended, ahead of time, to use her breast-feeding as a publicity stunt to teach the rest of us a good lesson. From what I’ve read and heard, she comes across as a decent, sincere individual. What I do suggest to her and other mothers who act rashly, and then condemn anyone who complains, is to grow up before your child does. And next time you go shopping with your infant in your arms, try bringing along a baby bottle.

Charles Winokoor is the business writer for the Taunton Daily Gazette.

cwinokoor@tauntongazette.com

 

******************************************************************************

Dear Charles,

You are brave man to have included your e-mail address in your “business article.” That or you are just plain stupid, I am leaning towards the latter. I absolutely loathed your comparison of feeding an infant in a grocery store to animals urinating up and down the pet food aisles. I’m following you here with regard that both urine and breastmilk are in fact bodily fluids. But considering that one is used to nourish a child through its infancy (and beyond) and the other is waste matter excreted by the kidneys, I’m not really seeing the connection in your comparison. I am also not seeing the connection between mothers and infants in a grocery store and dogs and cats in a grocery store. Maybe you were unaware that women and infants are in fact permitted into grocery stores and permitted by law (in MANY states) to breastfeed in any public place that they are allowed to be. Maybe you are unaware that only service animals that DO NOT “relieve themselves willy nilly, and then saunter off to leave the mess for the night crew to clean up,” are permitted in these stores as well. But sure, compare the breastfeeding mother to an animal relieving itself in the middle of a store – STRIKE ONE!

Once again, I am having trouble establishing the connection between grown, shirtless men engaging in personal hygiene routines in public and mothers feeding their children. This comparison is less offensive yes, but still as far fetched as you calling this a “business article.” And secondly, I am willing to bet my milk-makers that if this mother you are attacking was shirtless, you wouldn’t have complained one bit about what she was doing with her breasts (provided there wasn’t a feeding child on the other end). As ignorant as you obviously are, I still can’t let this slide -STRIKE TWO!

Now your comment about what was going on in the aisle where Charmin toilet paper is sold was completely out of line. Somethings are just better left unsaid, as you obviously know because you only had the nerve to imply that defecating in the middle of a grocery store is equivalent to nursing a child. For this one, I’ll just be honest…YOU’RE AN ASS.

If seeing a mother feed her child in the way that was intended by nature causes so much of an upset in your life that you in fact have nightmares from it, then you should certainly reevaluate your mental health. There are highly qualified individuals who can help you with this. Or you could just come to Central, Fl, call me up and I can slap you in your face a few times -whatever works for you

“Last Friday, Brockton cardiologist Dr. Melissa Tracy, while shopping in the
South Hingham iParty store, dropped to the floor and began breast-feeding
her ostensibly starving 2-month-old child.” Okay Charles, do you even know what ostensibly means? Are you implying that a 2 month old child has ulterior motives to crying out in hunger? Oh that’s right, let me guess…maybe the child cried out in hunger but was really just trying “to impose their version of an enlightened society upon the rest of us, without regard to our sensibilities. ” Who knows?

“That sort of selfish, guerilla mentality is not just inconsiderate to those
of us backward Americans who are not used to seeing babies suckling while
we’re shopping for party supplies or dog food, it’s also unfair to the
companies whose employees are only trying to do the right thing.” Again Chuck – not sure that guerilla is anywhere near appropriate here:

guerilla

noun

a member of an irregular armed force that fights a stronger force by sabotage and harassment

While I am certain that this cardiologist had every intention of making you “backward Americans” (as you so accurately labeled yourselves) uncomfortable, I assure you that just because you aren’t used to seeing women feed their children in the manner which was intended, that does not make it any less natural or appropriate. Furthermore, if it makes you uncomfortable to see an infant eat, than again I highly suggest seeing someone who can help you overcome your sexualized perception of what is in fact not at all a sexual organ. Or maybe it isn’t that the breast has been sexualized in America that makes you quiver at the sight of an infant nursing. Maybe it’s your own insecurity in your ability to do something as powerful as grow, birth and provide nutrition for a child all with your own God given body alone. Am I sensing a little envy here? Or is it just back to you displaying ignorance in it’s purest form? Again, who knows? I am interested to know why it is that you feel sorry for company employees “trying to do the right thing” when these company employees are violating the rights of others? How is this the right thing?

“What she’s failed to mention, either in print or on TV, is why she was so
compelled to plop to the floor instead of walking to the ladies room. Would
she have jeopardized her child’s welfare, his very life, if she had simply
made the effort?” Would she have jeopardized her child’s welfare? Oh right, now you are concerned with the child’s welfare, Chuck. No one expects you to eat your lunch on a public restroom toilet, why should her child be expected to? Oh that’s right, because you think so. This woman is making an effort. She is making an effort to provide for her child in the best way possible. And she is doing it with a lack of support in this country from idiots like you. Everyday mothers feel embarrassed about breastfeeding and even quit breastfeeding because morons like you try to make it something more than what it is. STRIKE THREE!

“What I do suggest to her and other mothers who act rashly, and then condemn anyone who complains, is to grow up before your child does.
And next time you go shopping with your infant in your arms, try bringing
along a baby bottle. ” WOW, I sincerely hope that no one asks you for suggestions on a regular basis. Breastfeeding a crying, hungry child is by no means “acting rashly.” Defecating on the grocery aisle floor, sure, but not breastfeeding. And as for ASSuming that all mothers who breastfeed are capable of expressing their milk so they can bottle feed their child for your convenience – once again shows how ignorant you are. And secondly, even if a mother is capable of doing so, it certainly shouldn’t be something she’s obligated to do to keep from offending someone like you. If you have a problem with seeing a child eat from its mothers breast, then I suggest you sir, be the one who takes a trip to the toilet. That is ironically, where all of your statements belong. YOU’RE OUT!

Why you should wear your baby

The above photo is my 4yr old nephew, Ryland wearing his 8mo old sister, Raeghan in a Mei Tie.

There are many styles of infant carriers today. There is a design for everyone’s specific need and comfort. When my daughter was born I was lucky enough to have known about babywearing, the many types of carriers/slings, and the benefits for both my daughter and myself. In the first month of my daughters life I was adjusting to so much. Lack of sleep, fatigue, muscle soreness and the whole new world of motherhood. I hated the baby bucket (infant carseat that detches that you see so many children behing hauled around in). It was heavy without a child in it and extremely awkward. Wearing my daughter was so convenient and it felt so nice to have her near me all the time. One thing I particularly liked was the style of wrap I used ( a Moby Wrap). It bascially covered her entire body, creating a coccoon/womb type environment for her. She loved it and it kept unwanted touches from friendly strangers to a minimum. I was back in my pre-pregnancy clothes when my daughter was 9 months old. I attribute half of that to breastfeeding, and the other half to babywearing.

Need to get dinner made but the baby wants to be held? Want to go for a walk and there’s really not a good path on your dirt road for your stroller? Just gotta run into Wal-Mart for 2 or 3 things and really don’t want to lug that carseat out of the car? This is what I am talking about. Maybe Daddy needs to reconnect with your child at the end of his long working day? Oh and my favorite thing of all…hands-free breastfeeding. Yep, I said it, and it’s amazing. Ever wanted to just walk around the mall with a fussy baby or a baby that is an olympic all day nurser? Put that baby in a sling, give em’ the boob and no one is the wiser!

1. Wearing a baby is convenient. When we carry a baby in a sling, we can walk around freely and not have to worry about negotiating steps, crowds or narrow aisles with a stroller. Plastic “baby buckets” and removable car seats are heavy and awkward for parents, babies often look uncomfortable, and they are kept at knee level. A sling can block out excess stimuli when breastfeeding a distractible baby, and it allows for discreet nursing in public places. A sling can also double as a changing pad, blanket, or cushion when away from home. I’ve found my sling especially handy when negotiating busy airports with a small child and several bags! 2. Wearing a baby promotes physical development. When a baby rides in a sling attached to his mother, he is in tune with the rhythm of her breathing, the sound of her heartbeat, and the movements his mother makes – walking, bending, and reaching. This stimulation helps him to regulate his own physical responses, and exercises his vestibular system, which controls balance. The sling is in essence a “transitional womb” for the new baby, who has not yet learned to control his bodily functions and movements. Research has shown that premature babies who are touched and held gain weight faster and are healthier than babies who are not1. Mechanical swings and other holding devices do not provide these same benefits.
3. Babies worn in slings are happier. Studies have shown that the more babies are held, the less they cry and fuss2. In indigenous cultures where baby-wearing is the norm, babies often cry for only a few minutes a day – in contrast to Western babies, who often cry for hours each day. Crying is exhausting for both the baby and his parents, and may cause long-term damage as the baby’s developing brain is continually flooded with stress hormones.3 Babies who do not need to spend their energy on crying are calmly observing and actively learning about their environment. Baby-wearing is especially useful for colicky or “high need” babies, who are far happier being worn, but placid, content babies and children will also benefit greatly from the warmth and security of being held close. 4. Baby-wearing is healthy for you! It can be challenging for new mothers to find time to exercise, but if you carry your baby around with you most of the day or go for a brisk walk with your baby in her sling, you will enjoy the dual benefits of walking and “weightlifting”. A long walk in the sling is also an excellent way to help a tired but over-stimulated child fall asleep.	..>..>..>..>..>..>
5. Toddlers appreciate the security of the sling. Slings are usually associated with infants, but they can be very useful for toddlers as well; most slings accommodate children up to 35 or 40 pounds. The world can be a scary place for toddlers, who feel more confident when they can retreat to the security of the sling when they need to do so. Toddlers often become over-stimulated, and a ride in the sling helps to soothe and comfort them before (or after!) a “melt-down” occurs. It can be very helpful in places like the zoo, aquarium, or museum, where a small child in a stroller would miss many of the exhibits. 6. Baby-wearing helps you and your baby to communicate with each other. The more confidence we have in our parenting, the more we can relax and enjoy our children. A large part of feeling confident as a parent is the ability to read our baby’s cues successfully. When we hold our baby close in a sling, we become finely attuned to his gestures and facial expressions. Many baby-wearing parents report that they have never learned to distinguish their baby’s cries – because their babies are able to communicate effectively without crying! Every time a baby is able to let us know that she is hungry, bored or wet without having to cry, her trust in us is increased, her learning is enhanced, and our own confidence is reinforced. This cycle of positive interaction enhances the mutual attachment between parent and child, and makes life more enjoyable for everyone. 7. Slings are a bonding tool for fathers, grandparents, and other caregivers. Slings are a useful tool for every adult in a baby’s life. It makes me smile when I see a new father going for a walk with his baby in a sling. The baby is becoming used to his voice, heartbeat, movements and facial expressions, and the two are forging a strong attachment of their own. Fathers don’t have the automatic head-start on bonding that comes with gestation, but that doesn’t mean they can’t make up for this once their baby is born. The same goes for babysitters, grandparents and all other caregivers. Cuddling up close in the sling is a wonderful way to get to know the baby in your life, and for the baby to get to know you! 8. Slings are a safe place for a child to be. Instead of running loose in crowded or dangerous places, a child in a sling is held safe and secure right next to your body. Slings also provide emotional safety when needed, so that children can venture into the world and become independent at their own pace. 9. Slings are economical. Slings cost far less than strollers, front-carriers or backpacks. Many mothers consider the sling to be one of their most useful and economical possessions. Inexpensive used slings can be found in consignment and thrift stores, and new ones can be bought for about $25 -$50 (U.S.) – not bad for an item many parents use daily for two years or more! A sling can also be sewn for the price of a length of cotton, some rings and batting; sling patterns are available. 10. Baby-wearing is fun. Who doesn’t love to cuddle a precious little baby? And when your baby is older, having her in the sling makes conversations easier and allows you to observe her reactions to the wonders of the world around her. It’s also fun for baby, because when she is up at eye level, other adults notice and interact with her more. Your child will feel more a part of your life when she is in her sling, and you will find yourself becoming more and more enchanted with this special little person.

1	“Current knowledge about skin-to-skin (kangaroo) care for pre-term infants”. J Perinatol. 1991 Sep;11(3):216-26.
2	Hunziker, U.A. and R.G. Barr (1986). “Increased carrying reduces infant crying: A randomized controlled trial”. Pediatrics. 7:641-648.
3	Powell, A. “Harvard Researchers Say Children Need Touching and Attention”, Harvard Gazette.