Archive

Archive for July, 2009

Momfinitions

July 16, 2009 71 comments

So I decided to enter this Momfinitions contest. Leave me a comment cause I get points for that, too! Thanks and enjoy.

Elastibreast (ee-las-tea-breast) n. – What your breast turns into after more than one pregnancy. Elastibreast, also known as elastiboob, is a condition accompanied by the ability to breastfeed a child in your lap without using your hands or arms for any type of support.

Poopdar (poop-dar) n.- Similar to the fartdar, the poopdar is the ability to determine when someone has dropped a load into their diaper.

The sensitivity of ones poopdar increases during pregnancy and is not always considered a blessing. The poopdar does not seem to be as effective in men, though, and this subject is extremely taboo in some households.

Binkinese (Bean-kee-knees) n. – The strange, almost English sounding language that comes from the mouth of of a pacified child. We call them “binkies” in our house. Some call them “pacies” so this momfinition may also be known as Pacinese (Passy-knees).

Snotcolate (snot-co-lit) n. – What evolves when a child who is scarfing down chocolate doesn’t take the time to breathe or let you wipe their runny nose.

Whinese (whine-ease) n. – Similar to Binkinese, this
strange language evolves when a child proceeds to whine in place of using actual words. All words become one long sound such as “MaaaaahhhhmeeeeIdooooon’twaaaaanttoooooooo,” producing Whinese.

Categories: Uncategorized
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.