Perfectly flawed

I never realized how okay it was to be myself.  I never knew it was okay to be imperfect.  I’ve always measured myself against others, a feat that only brought me despair and sadness.  I am not perfect.  And finally I have come to accept that and be at peace with it.  But here’s why…C H R I S T.  In the eyes of the Lord I am equal to all others.  Even those I hold in higher regard, even those I envy, and yes, even those I despise.  We are equal you see, because in the Lord’s eyes we are all sinners.  And what better way to be flawed than perfectly flawed?  How am I perfectly flawed you may ask?  Because just as I am equal to all others, I am also offered the same redemption and forgiveness.  My sins are forgiven, washed away, just as yours.

So if you ever wondered how to fit in in a perfect world, stop now.  Because you nor I will ever be perfect.  No one will ever be flawless.  Except he who can redeem us all.  So go about your merry way, flawed to the ends of all you do, our father will always be there, waiting to redeem you.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2

How foolish can you be? After starting your Christian lives in the Spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your own human effort? Galations 3:3 (New Living Translation)

For the law never made anything perfect. But now we have confidence in a better hope, through which we draw near to God. Hebrews 7:19 (New Living Translation)

For by grace you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift— not from works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23

The Dreadlocked Mess Momster

So after a little over 3 years of wanting locks, I went for it.  For me, dreadlocks are more than just an alternative hairstyle that looks cool.  I originally wanted dreadlocks because I thought they looked cool.  Then I discovered that after a few months of maintenance I would be free from a world of having to do anything with my hair!  For me that was fabulous.  As my spirituality has grown over the past year, I found even more reasons to have my hair locked up.  I have dealt with struggles regarding my image for years.   Allowing my hair to control how I feel about myself is unhealthy and silly, at best.  I have never known what to do with it.  Most often I ended up with it braided or in a pony tail anyway, never satisfied and always feeling less like less of a person because of it.  This is my freedom from those ways of thinking, this is my emotional freedom, a display of my struggle and victory over this issue.  Yes, I came to win this battle in an unorthodox manner, but I prayed heavily about this and it just seemed right.

I’ll post regular updates (mostly for Mecca, the lady who started the locks for me).

Getting started

Almost 1/2 way

All done!

1 week

2 weeks

3 weeks

4 weeks
I have been taking these pics myself with the exception of a couple. I’ll have my hubby get some good shots to show the length to add.


And because a few people asked, this is what I do before bed, every night. I wax my hair and wrap it up in a satin scarf. It’s not flattering at all. There are a lot of Miss Cleo and Chiquita banana jokes around here.

So Mecca came by this weeks to lock up the new growth. There was almost an inch of growth in only 4 1/2 weeks! She busted out her crochet needle as I downed 4 200mg Ibuprofen. In less than an hour she was finished. I got the green light to stop using wax everyday and after 4 1/2 weeks I finally took a shower without a shower cap! I had forgotten how relaxing a shower can be. At this point I can wash it once a week. After the lock up next month I should be able to bump it up to two times a week.
1st follow-up lock up @ 4 1/2 weeks

And after a shower


5 1/2 weeks

I tied it
Once out of necessity because I didn’t have a scrunchie or a clip (the 1st photo) and again just because I can…

7 weeks
I’ve stopped the wax. It’s been about a week with no wax at all and things are getting shaggy. I’ve found that I still have so much wax in my hair though from the first month that all I need to do is palm roll the frizzies back into the dreads. I love that I can wear my hair down and not be hot. I was never able to wear my hair down before.

8 weeks
Hello, I am a former candlehead. That is what the dreadlock community calls people like me who are unfortunate in having someone give us bad advice regarding wax and dreads. I recently learned that putting wax in my hair was counterproductive to establishing dreads. I also found out after spending over $200 that dreadlocks should never cost anything more than your time, patience, and commitment. Frustrating, yes. But there is hope. It’s been 2 weeks with no wax in the following pics. Ya dig how curly they are?

9 weeks
Next week I will be making a wax removal concoction that is known to aid in wax removal. I will let it sit on my hair for 1/2 an hour prior to boiling my hair. The only way to get the wax out is to heat it up and melt it out. My husband helped me with boiling it once but it’s clearly going to to take some extra effort.

10 weeks
Here some close ups taken with a really nice camera. I can’t wait to post pics after the wax removal this week!!

Showing underneath

Okay, so here it is a month later and it’s also the night of my 3rd dewaxing attempt…after the first round of dewaxing, which entailed me laying my counter top with my hair in the sink and my sweet husband pouring pots of boiling water over then length. I soaked the length of my hair in the pots of water in between pourings. Not much happened. My hair was softer to the touch but there was still a lot of wax in the twisted/braided parts.

An online friend recommended a concoction of baking soda, lemon juice and orange oil (with water of course) and I gave that a try. I mixed the ingredients up and covered my hair. My intentions were to let it sit for 1/2 an hour before rinsing but after 15 min my head was itching so badly that I felt like a rabid dog, I had to wash it out. Here are the results from those two dewaxings…

As you can see, the wouldbe locks are much loopier (which is a good thing)

I also learned that the micobraiding and twisty crap that was done to my hair to help “start” the locks was completely counterproductive. I’ve come to terms with it and even though it takes anywhere from 45min to an hour to unravel one, I am slowly but surely taking them all down. The parts that are braided can never dread, it’s impossible. The braids will create weak spots in the dreads, and braiding isn’t dreading, can not help hair dread, and is an absolute mess with wax on top. Some friends actually are helping me from time to time, thank God because there are 57 locks.

So we had Margarita’s at Chipotle and some friends helped…
This is how I feel about my hair

And here’s one just cause I think it’s a good pic

I sit here now with the concoction on my hair once again. It isn’t itching nearly as bad as I didn’t put it on my scalp this time and I changed the ratios a bit. It’s been soaking for 20 min. In another 10 or so I’ll scrub the heck out of it and continue the unraveling. I cannot stress enough, NEVER let someone twist, braid or wax your hair to start your dreads!!! I’ll post an update pic tomorrow.

Okay, so after some massive untwisting and debraiding here’s an update.  Sometimes I’ll get started taking one down and have to stop (because I have a life outside of my hair) and I’ve found that the bottom half (which is undone) is already starting to dread!  So I am undecided as to wether or not I should undo the new dreading to reach the top half of the lock so I can finish the unbraiding…UGH!!

Here is an example of a dread undone half way down, check out how bad it wants to dread

A close up of the loosening braid

And a full shot
And to boot I am so caught up right now. Dig this – one of the major reasons I decided to dread up was to escape my self-image issues. I have had some really bad ones and done different things over the years to try to truly accept myself just as I am. To prove to myself that I can love myself and I don’t care what anyone else thinks. I’ve even gone a year without shaving my legs in the past LOL Well, I never wanted to have to care much for my hair anymore. No more feeling ugly because of my stupid ponytail, fly-aways, naturally curly, oily hair, yk? But since all of the misdirection on my dread start I find myself obsessing over getting these stupid braids out, it takes so much time every day so I am always “fixing it”, and I look like a freak and I am back in a vanity trap. What I have taken from this is that I obviously needed to learn a few more things before I am truly freed from vanity.

October 14, 2008
Here are some pictures from today. I am having a friend wrap the locks that are completely unbraided because they are growing into every other dread and it’s way messy. Hopefully I’ll get them done tomorrow.

Okay so it’s been a while since I last updated. I combined some lock bringing me from 57 of them down to 42. The have combined so well that I can’t even tell which ones I combined. I’ve removed the wraps that a friend put in place for me and having them in was so helpful in keeping certain lock separated and helped with the combining process as well.
Here are some pics with wraps…

And now after much time with the wraps removed
6 months

Time for another update!
The loose wispy ends are being sucked up into the dreads so I am expecting some major length shrinkage over the next few months.

Approx 8 months

And another update – I am losing the wispy tips these days. I am 9 months in since I started over and here’s how it’s looking!

Mojo Saves The Willows

We moved in to The Willows in March 2008. Sometimes you never know how ghetto a place can be until you live there. A dear friend of mine lost her house to a kitchen fire that started from hot wings in the wok. This got me thinking. I searched my apartment only to find there is no fire extinguisher anywhere. Not only is there no fire extinguisher in my apartment but there aren’t any mounted in the breezeways or corridors, anywhere. When I confronted the management office it went something like this:

Me: There is no fire extinguisher in my apartment.

Lady: Oh, well, this complex is older and we’ve been grandfather clocked in so the law doesn’t apply to us.

Me: Well, I don’t think that because this complex is old means that it’s at any less of a risk for catching on fire.

Lady: Well, I think it may also be in part due to how close we are to the fire department.

I left there feeling completely unsatisfied with her answers. I moved to Alabama from Florida so I was unaware of the laws with regards to extinguishers, rental properties, etc. So I phoned the Fire Marshall. I filed a complaint and asked that he look into it. He called me back within 3 hours and told me that he came to inspect the property. The complex is in violation of the fire prevention safety regulations. The law as of 2005, states that all residential (R2, I believe is what he called it) buildings (new or existing) must have fire extinguishers within at least 75 feet. Seeing as how there are none, within any amount of feet they are clearly in violation.

So the verdict is that he ordered the complex to purchase 170 fire extinguishers by no later than Thursday, June 19th and that the installation begin ASAP. Every unit will have a 2 1/2lb fire extinguisher installed under their kitchen sink!

I am honestly baffled that I am the first tenant to ever question this or call to complain. Seriously, am I the only one who realizes that fire is dangerous? And as far as the responses I received from the lady in the office – I can’t believe she thought being in close proximity to the fire department was reason enough to overlook a life saving, required by law measure for the tenants here. But she say they were “grandfather clocked in.” That one had me LOL

Placenta Dehydration/Encapsulation Complete

PHASE ONE

So this is what I did today. My sweet sister had a baby just last week and decided she wanted to reap the many benefits of eating her placenta. Neither the pot roast or smoothie recipes were appetizing so we decided to go this route. It was actually not near as gross as I had anticipated. The whole process took maybe 15 minutes. It’s dehydrating on my kitchen counter as we speak and hasn’t even funked up the apartment yet, virtually odorless. I’m sure the encapsulation process will be a bit trickier but I am up for the challenge. If any of you are interested in details of this process, let me know. I’ll be happy to post details once my project is successfully completed.

It begins:

Removing the sac:

Closer examination:

Into the blender:

Placenta smoothie anyone?

Onto the tray:

All done with phase one!!

PHASE TWO

For the next set of business I dehydrated the placenta until there was no moisture left at all. That was approximately 7 1/2 hours. The placenta was very thin after, but still tough (not like jerky, but tough and flaky). I cut it into bits with scissors and put it in a food processor. All of the recipes I have read said to blend the dehydrated placenta again but I prematurely returned the blender to my sister, not thinking. So at that point the best blades in my kitchen were in a food processor. I do have to warn you about the odor. The placenta never smelled bad, until I opened the dehydrator once it was done. At that point I still wasn’t gagging because the odor was foul, but not pungent. It was tolerable but I would have benefited from wearing a simple mask. Then I just disassembled one gel cap at a time, filling it with powdered placenta. I also recommend wearing gloves for Phase Two. I washed my hands a few times and finally ended up satisfied with the smell of my hands after a shower and some scrubbing. The placenta has yielded 100 gel caps so far. I ran out and I am guesstimating that I will fill another 100 gel caps easily with what’s remaining.

It’s done:

I accidentally started cutting then I remembered to take pictures, so that is what the missing chunk is all about.

Here you can see how thin it was:

Into the food processor:

Powdered Placenta:

Now the fun part:

Over all this was a fairly simple to do and similar to things you would normally do with food.  Nothing was incredibly difficult or disgusting.  I would absolutely do this again.  It’s well worth the benefit.

For Mothers

I recently had a conversation with a dear friend regarding her attempted VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). My dear friend was left mourning after the delivery ended in another Cesarean. While drug-free, vaginal deliveries are the safest and most responsible way to deliver in the majority of cases, there are unfortunately times when this does not happen. There are also times when babies are born still, lifeless and again mothers are left mourning. There are babies who never make it past the first trimester and mothers mourn their miscarrages. Pregnancy and childbirth are a very intimate and delicate process involving all types of emotions. After speaking with my friend, I was inspired to compose the following for her and every mother out there who feels a sense of sadness or loss regarding their exerience.

You are the power that brings forth life

Without you, humanity would end

You are the womb, the nourishment the love

You are where life begins

With God’s sweet grace

And your selfless loving ways

You are the reason for every season

The light in every day

God has a hand in everything

Every death and every birth

Always know that you are special

And regarded for all your worth

As you bring forth life

Hold in your heart this truth

It makes no difference in how they arrive

Only that they are a gift to you

For mothers mourning

For mothers who rejoice

For every single mother

Sharing their own mothers voice

Believe in yourself

And the beauty you hold

Enjoy each moment

Nourish your soul

Remember that circumstance

Is simply just that

Once a mother, always a mother

You are a miracle to marvel at

The Truth About Pitocin

I am a woman who is blessed to have connections with many women. We share our pregnancies, births, and many other exciting phases of our lives together. We each learn something new from everyone else’s experiences. As a woman who has birthed two children and was able to do so exactly as I desired I feel the need to share an important piece of information with all women, even those I don’t know so well. So if you are reading this, please share this vital information with every woman you know. It may change everything about their birth experience. Let’s stop being informed by our Doctors about what is to take place during childbirth and start asking questions, educating ourselves and sharing our knowledge with each other. Let’s uncover the truth about Pitocin, a drug quoted by Dr. Roberto Caldreyo-Barcia, a former president of the International Federation of Obstetricians and Gynecologists and a renowned researcher into the effects of obstetrical interventions to be “the most abused drug in the world today.”

One of the most compelling pieces of evidence I found exposing the way Pit really affects the laboring process was this: The natural rhythm of labor is supported by the release of oxytocin in bursts as needed, whereas pitocin is administered as a constant IV drip that confines most women to bed. This decreases their ability to control the escalating pain caused by drug-induced uterine activity, and laboring women are more likely to require pain medication that slows labor. Think of the dichotomy: pitocin is administered to speed up labor, but the increased level of pain requires medication that slows it down. In addition, pitocin often has no effect on cervical dilation even though the contractions are much stronger.

And here are just a few risks associated for women and children exposed to Pitocin: Pitocin might cause a tumultuous, difficult labor and tetanic contractions, rupture of the uterus and dehiscence of a uterine scar, lacerations of the cervix, retained placenta or postpartum hemorrhage. Postpartum perineal and pelvic floor pain is increased as a result of augmented uterine contractions. Fetal complications might include fetal asphyxia and neonatal hypoxia, physical injury and neonatal jaundice. The use of pitocin also might be a factor in cerebral palsy from deprived oxygen and autism.

The more women I talk to the more I find that Pitocin is administered without notice, consent, or real medical necessity. I encourage you to send this information along to every woman of childbearing age that you know. Every woman deserves to know the truth about Pitocin.

Click here for the full article

My Children

I just have to do it, I gotta say it – I LOVE MY KIDS.
Where would I be if my daughters were not in my life?
What would I be doing?
Most importantly, who in the world would I be? It’s crazy that the yearning I felt to have children prior to being a mom could never hold a candle to the reality of having them. It’s amazing in an inexplainable way having another human being compliment my soul. Today I have stopped to look my daughters right in their eyes and just see them. I have just watched them play, played with them, and loved on them literally ALL DAY long. It is so scary to think about where I may be had I never had my children. Did I really ever know anything before I kids? How can anyone really know what living is all about that hasn’t created an extension of their life and had everything worth anything in life reflected there? I just had to say that the most challenging thing in my life has also been the most rewarding. I just love my kids, that’s all.

My failsafe sinus/cold remedy

fail-safe /ˈfeɪlˌseɪf/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[feyl-seyf] Pronunciation Key – Show IPA Pronunciation adjective, noun, verb, -safed, -saf·ing. –adjective

1.	Electronics. pertaining to or noting a mechanism built into a system, as in an early warning system or a nuclear reactor, for insuring safety should the system fail to operate properly.

2.	equipped with a secondary system that insures continued operation even if the primary system fails.

For those of you who HATE HATE HATE sinus pain/congestion, here’s what I do when it hits.

Use the Neti pot ASAP. I like to use mine 2x a day (morning & night). Remember to use it on both sides

Swallow a good 6 cloves of garlic. Cut them up if you need to. I would take 6 at the onset of symptoms and another 6 cloves 12 hours later.

Drink some Emergen-C at the onset of symptoms and again every 6-12hrs up to 3x a day.

Colloidal Silver is a must. It has to touch what it heals so you guessed it – right on up the nose. Make sure you put some up each side at the onset of symptoms and at least 3x a day.

A great homeopathic for Sinusitis that I have seen results with is Mezereum 6c. You can also try Sinusalia®.

If your throat is scratchy/sore, get some Wild Cherry Bark or some Eldertussin Syrup. They are both VERY soothing.

It’s always good to attack it from all angles so get yourself a good ear oil, too. I use Wally’s Ear Oil and it works great.

All you should be drinking is water (and of course the occasional Emergen-C). Try to get as much rest as possible. I have found that plugging the tub and turning on a steaming hot shower with a few drops of Eucalyptus oil or a mix of Tea Tree and Peppermint oils will help with your breathing as well. Try the TTO and Peppermint oil in a lamp ring diffuser, it’s awesome.

I hope this helps you Mamas as much as it has helped me. I SWEAR by this!! I went to bed (and it wasn’t the first time) feeling just terrible. The pressure in my head was insane, I was dizzy from the sinus pressure. But after my treatment that day I woke up feeling a LOT better and I know that continuing my treatment again today I will be just fine This is coming from someone who usually must get prescription meds to clear up my sinus infections.

It’s that time of year Mamas…stock up on your Emergen-C, fresh garlic, Colloidal Silver, EOs, homeopathics and get yourself a Neti Pot!!

Just a note: If buying homeopathics/herbs and other stuff is too pricey for your budget, contact Frontier for information on setting up a co-op where you can purchase all of these things at wholesale pricing (and you don’t have to buy products in bulk).
and feel better soon!

Things you thought you’d never say as a Mama…

As a parent there are situations that present themselves that we never could have predicted

And in those moments are some of the greatest quotes of history. Kick back, have a laugh and then add your own. You can e-mail me here to have your quote added. At this point I intend to keep the quotes anonymous, but if you wish to have your name included just indicate so in your submission. Thanks for your help!

ENJOY! Hear are some I overhead from my own mouth recently:
Step away from the baby with that light saber.

If you are going to touch yourself there you need to wash your hands before and after.

Get out of the fireplace.

When I asked a group of women to tell me about some of the funny things they have said as a parent, I got the following:

Babe..can I please have the Boppy pillow back. I know you both are sharing it but it is used for breastfeeding …not for grand theft auto and the playstation. ( I swear he uses it more than the baby does.)

(to my husband after he changed a very long-awaited diaper amidst allergy worries)
“Was there a lot of poop? What did it look like? What did it smell like?”
I never thought poop would be such a conversation topic.

“Please don’t play with your poop anymore.”

“Was that a green bean…..ohhh black eyed peas are scary when they come out the other end.”

And one Mama was loaded: “JT please don’t stand on the cheese anymore.” -at the grocery store.
“John, please don’t let Emma eat the baby.”
And more recently, “Does anybody know where Jesus went? Shelby had him in the playroom last night…”
“I found Jesus. He was in the bottom of the toy box, under a zebra.”
“JT, don’t dip the your race car in the cheese.”

“Take your penis OFF THE TABLE!!!” (don’t worry friends. I cleaned it, lol)

“Well go call some normal people and find out what kind of jelly they use on their sandwiches!”

“Get “Knocked up” if you want to.”
(said to my 18yo on her cell phone when she was asking me what movie to rent)

“IF YOU COME DOWN THOSE STAIRS, YOU BETTER BE PUKING OR ON FIRE!!!

“Please do not lick cheese off my shirt.”

“Is there blood? There better be blood!” Today when my daughter did one of her hair raising, earth shattering, blood curdling screams.

“Kaia, do not eat that worm!”

“Get your foot out of my potholder!”

“Please don’t punch me in the face while you’re nursing.” Seriously, nursing is a contact sport these days! She never actually hurts me, just annoys me by poking, prodding, pinching, punching, flipping over, etc.

“Don’t handcuff your sister to the cat!”

“Don’t eat that french fry out of your diaper!”

“Sit up on the potty or you’re going to pee in your face!” Zachary had a boner and needed to pee at the same time. It was stiff and he was leaning back on the toilet, forcing his “unit” to point straight in the air. LOL never a dull moment in my house.

“Don’t brush your sister’s hair with the fork.”

(Preface: Child in the bath peed, got a cup and started drinking the bath water) “Did you just drink your pee pee?”

34 1/2 months of milk

On January 15, 2008 my oldest daughter enjoyed her last drink of milk from the tap. Just a month and a 1/2 shy of her 3rd birthday, how time flies. It’s been one week today since she has weaned and we are both adjusting well. I think this process has been easier for me than I expected it to be because I am still nursing her 6 month old sister. Had I just stopped breastfeeding altogether I am sure that the resounding feelings would have been much different from the hormonal shift of no longer nursing. Many mothers go through a type of depression almost when they wean. Luckily for me, I still got a babe on the boob and I am feeling great.

I think the adjustment has gone well for my oldest daughter because she was closer to being ready to wean than I ever could have guessed. She was only nursing for her nap (1x a day at my limitation) and has asked at nap time to nurse everyday this past week but accepts my playful response of, “No way Jose’, you drank it all!”

Tandem nursing was quite an experience and if given the opportunity to do it again I absolutely would. I’ll never forget how grateful I was to have my toddler in those early weeks postpartum when engorgement was so uncomfortable (and messy!). I think continuing to nurse my 2 year old after the birth of her sister allowed my daughters to bond in a way that I just can’t really explain. And it allowed me to bond with my girls in a way that I’ll always remember.

As it stands I’ve I got quite a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance from the weaning and the baby has been a bit gassy with neon green poos from too much foremilk. I didn’t realize how much milk my toddler was getting until she weaned. I can seriously pump 5oz of milk at the previously scheduled nursing for her AFTER the baby nurses! On the up side, my big girl thinks it’s cool that I can pump my milk and enjoys drinking it from a cup just as much as she did from the tap. So I can still get that liquid gold into her day in and day out. Plus, I can build a stash in the freezer for the baby in case, Lord willing my hubby and I ever get a night out without our girls!

For more information on the many benefits of nursing past one year of age, read HERE.